Growing up in a troubled home made me yearn for something or someone I could depend on. My family went to church every Sunday. I heard stories about Noah, Daniel, King David, and Jesus. I believed Jesus died for my sin and He was the only way to heaven. What I did not understand was what that truth had to do with how I lived when I was not at church.
When I was about ten, things became more difficult at home. My parents decided not to go to church any more. I was very disappointed. Though I did not know it, God was still directing my life. I played violin in school and there was only one other violin player. Her father “just happened” to be a pastor and the church “just happened” to be a short walk from where I lived.
I loved learning more about Jesus, but continued to feel guilty for the things I did outside of church. I thought about quitting church but could not imagine my life without it. I needed an anchor.
As my high school graduation approached, I began to doubt whether I could do anything good unless I was in church. The increasing unease in my spiritual life eventually led me to request a meeting with my pastor. In that meeting, I saw that I needed to make a decision. I could either keep living the way I was living, with one foot in church and one in the world, or I could give my whole life to Jesus. That decision was not hard for me. I hated the way I was living. I realized that the only choice that would give me the life I wanted was to walk with Jesus one hundred percent of the time. My pastor led me in prayer, and I gave my whole life to Jesus that night. For the first time in my life, I felt peace and joy.
Going to a Christian college taught me how to study the Bible and how to pray. I met a lot of people who wanted the same thing I did – to make their lives count for Jesus. I learned that everyone has something to overcome, so I no longer felt I didn’t fit in because of my background. I began to look at God’s Word, the Bible, as truth from God I could depend on. I learned how to lean on God. Those years changed my life.
“Jesus did not come just to get you out of hell and into heaven,” the speaker said, “Jesus came to get heaven into you.” I rely on the knowledge that Jesus will come back, and I will be with Him forever. While I am waiting, I am learning to trust God more and myself less.
I did not know the path my life with God would take. No one does. I came to God because I wanted to go to heaven, and because I wanted a life that mattered. God gave me both.
Was it an easy road? Definitely not. Everyone faces obstacles. Some of mine were chronic pain and fatigue, overcoming the effects of my difficult childhood, and a binge eating disorder that nearly ended my life. Through all of it, God has been faithful and shown His goodness. I finally found Someone I could rely on.
Who? Me? Do you know Jesus? Are you living for yourself during the week and for God on Sundays? Are you willing to submit your Sunday through Saturday life to God? If you have a relationship with Jesus, is there any area of your life you need to submit to God?
One More Step: If you have not surrendered your life to Jesus and you would like to, you can pray a prayer like this: “Dear Heavenly Father, I know that I need you. I need a Savior. I have missed the mark many times and I ask for your forgiveness. I believe that you came and paid the price for my sin. I believe you rose from the dead and are alive now. I ask you to come into my whole life and guide me as I learn to trust you more. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.”
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